Northern vs. Southern Football

Happy Saturday darlins and thanks for stopping by to say hello.  I am sorry I was out all day yesterday - I was still feeling very very puny and took a vacation day to stay home and do nothing all day but rest to see if that would help me feel better.  I actually slept until 11 a.m. and it was SO NICE! That tells you how bad I was feeling - I never sleep that late - I don't like to waste or feel like I am wasting my day.  I feel a little better, but I just wasn't in the mood to get online or anything so I didn't post anything yesterday.  However, I knew that you would completely understand. :) 

On another note - you guys all know how big of a football fan I am so, I am going to tell you the difference between Northern vs. Southern Football as I think it's something you will get a kick out of!  The funny thing is that it's SOOOO TRUE! HA!  So... without further adieu - enjoy! :)

Women's Accessories

NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.

SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, water proof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's why we have boyfriends and husbands.

Stadium Size
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.

SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Mothers
NORTH: Don't care if their daughters know what a football is.

SOUTH: Expect their daughters to buy a new outfit for Homecoming each year and marry a football player.

Campus Decor
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.

SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen
NORTH: Also a physics major.

SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Heroes
NORTH: Rudy Guliani

SOUTH: Paul "Bear" Bryant

Getting Tickets
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.

SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, put name on waiting list for tickets, then still have to camp out.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.

SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class.

Parking
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.

SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Week of Big Game
NORTH: Don't even know who they are playing on Saturday.

SOUTH: Make sure clothes are color coordinated, make signs to support the home team, get shakers ready, pray for a victory, and bow down to football players when students see them.

Game Day
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV. Wonder why Game Day Live is never broadcast from their campus.

SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera, cheer tirelessly, and wave banners.

Tailgating
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Hootie and the Blowfish," who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon. Televisions set up with satellite dishes so that we don't miss any football games shown before and after ours.

Getting to the Stadium
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.

SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.

Concessions
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.

SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.

When National Anthem is Played
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.

SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score
NORTH: Nothing changes.

SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.

Commentary {Male Fan}
NORTH: "Nice play."

SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch -tackle him and break his legs."

Commentary {Female Fan}
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."

SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."

Announcers
NORTH: Neutral and paid.

SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.

SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest liquor store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.

Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern Football!!!

Well I hope that you all have a wonderful and blessed day and thanks again for stopping by to say hello. Later this evening, I will be watching my beloved Hogs play South Carolina and root the Hogs on to another win. 

vs.

Have a great day and enjoy the rest of your weekend! :)



Lots of love and hugs,

Trac-:)